Relationships are another important part of life’s fulfilment that I cannot ignore. When I think about my own life, I know that the people I love matter far more than most of the things I spend my time worrying about. Yet knowing this and living according to what I believe in are two different things. I can say that my family is important to me, but do I always give them my full attention? Do I put down the phone? Do I listen properly? Do the people I love actually know how much they mean to me? I think these are necessary questions to help me discern whether I am living the life that I want. At the end of my life, I doubt I will wish that I had spent more time answering emails, scrolling through social media or worrying about how much time I have spent worrying. I suspect I will remember people. The conversations, the laughter, the embraces, the moments together and perhaps also the things I wish I had said. So I wonder: if you knew you had very little time left, who would you want to spend it with, and how would you spend your time?
Reflecting on a fulfilled life also brings me face to face with another question: has my life made any difference to anyone else? I would like to believe that my existence has made somebody else’s life a little better. Perhaps through my work, through teaching, through friendship, through being a husband and father, through helping someone when they needed it, or simply through being there. Now I know that making a difference in someone’s life does not need to be spectacular to be meaningful. A kind word, a few hours of our time, helping someone, teaching someone something or making another person feel that they matter can be enough. When I look at my own life, I find this more meaningful than many traditional measures of success, such as becoming rich or famous.
I also want to keep growing. I find it difficult to imagine a fulfilled life in which I stop being curious. I want to continue learning, reading, writing, questioning and discovering. I want to understand myself better and perhaps understand life a little better too. I am also learning that growth does not always mean pushing myself harder. Sometimes growth means resting. Sometimes it means accepting that I cannot do everything. Sometimes it means admitting that I was wrong. Sometimes it means becoming more compassionate towards myself. I used to think that constantly pushing forward was a sign of strength. I am beginning to understand that knowing when to slow down can be just as important.
I have become increasingly aware that I also need to appreciate the life I already have. It is very easy to spend my time waiting for the next stage. I could tell myself that I will relax when work becomes easier, enjoy myself when I have more money, travel when I have more time, or pursue a dream when my responsibilities become lighter. I remember once meeting a person who told me that, as a family, they worked hard all year round, spending long hours at work, and then took a week-long family holiday. Although I admire their work ethic, I do not subscribe to the idea that we should spend most of the year simply waiting for that one week. I do believe that it is important to work hard, but I also believe it is important to spend good-quality time with the people we love every single day. There is no guarantee that the holiday will ever come. Life can change drastically in the next hour or the next day. Alas, we often take time for granted, and unfortunately, we sometimes take other people for granted too.
There will always be another responsibility, another problem and another reason to postpone living. I therefore try to remind myself that a fulfilled life must include the ability to appreciate ordinary moments: a walk, a good meal, a conversation, a laugh, a sunset, a hug, a quiet morning or simply being with the people I love. These moments can seem insignificant when I am chasing bigger things, yet they are the moments that actually make up a life.
Then there is regret. I have regrets. I have things I wish I had done differently, things I wish I had said, and opportunities I wish I had taken. I imagine that most people do. But I am learning that a fulfilled life cannot mean a life without mistakes. If I spend the rest of my life punishing myself for everything I got wrong, I will lose even more of the time I have left. I have had to learn to forgive other people, but perhaps more importantly, I have had to learn to forgive myself. I cannot change the past, but I can change what I do with it. My mistakes can either remain chains around my ankles or become lessons that help me walk differently.
When I think about what I might leave behind, I don’t imagine anything particularly grand. I would like my children to remember me warmly. I would like some of the students I have taught to remember that I encouraged them to think. I would like some of the photographs I have taken and the words I have written to survive me in some small way. But I don’t think fulfilment comes from being remembered by thousands of people. I think it can be enough to know that I mattered to a few people.
After thinking about all of this, I have arrived at a conclusion that surprised me. If today really were my last day, I think I would be at peace. Not because I have achieved everything—I haven’t. Not because I have no regrets—I do. And certainly not because I have lived perfectly—I haven’t. I think I would be at peace because I know that I have genuinely tried. I have tried to love, to learn, to contribute, to create, to grow and to become a better person. For me, perhaps that is what fulfilment means. Not having a perfect life, but being able to look back and know that I sincerely tried to live according to what mattered to me.
But perhaps the most important part of this reflection now is not my answer. It is yours.
I would encourage you to stop for a moment and ask yourself the question without immediately trying to make yourself feel better: Am I living a fulfilled life? What actually matters to you? Are you giving enough time to those things? Are the people you love receiving the best of you? Is there someone you need to forgive, or someone from whom you need to ask forgiveness? Are you still learning and growing? Are you doing things that make you feel alive? Are you appreciating the ordinary moments of your life? Is there something you keep postponing because you tell yourself that you will do it one day? If you knew that today was your last day, what would you regret not having done? And, perhaps most importantly, if there is something missing from your life, what can you still do about it?
I don’t think these questions are meant to make me—or you—feel guilty. I think they are meant to wake us up. If my answers reveal something that is missing, I still have the opportunity to change it. There are still conversations I can have, people I can hug, apologies I can make, dreams I can pursue, places I can explore, things I can create and people whose lives I can touch. The same is true for you.
Perhaps a fulfilled life is not a finished life. Perhaps it is a life in which I can look back and know that, despite my mistakes, disappointments, failures and unfinished plans, I tried to live according to what mattered. I loved. I learned. I contributed. I grew. I experienced. I made mistakes and tried again. I appreciated what I had rather than constantly waiting for something else. And perhaps fulfilment is not something I eventually discover at the end of my life. Perhaps it is something I create, one decision at a time, while I am still fortunate enough to make those decisions.
So I will leave you with the question that started all of this for me: Am I living a fulfilled life?
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About the Author
Sergio Morana is an educator, photographer and writer based in Malta. Through photography and writing, he explores life’s meaningful moments, personal growth, and the stories that connect us.
📷 Photography: Holy Communions • Confirmations • Portraits • Family Sessions • Events
Amazing 😎